Goodbye Jong Hyun, Our Bling Bling Angel

It's been 48 hours since SM release the official statement about Jong Hyun is passed away. I still could not believe and accept that he is gone. I am so unfamiliar with this feeling that I never had before. It's just too hard, too difficult, too much to handle. I am not in the age where I have to be used to this. No, there is never an age to be used to accept this kind of heart breaking news. I can feel my heart skip a beat, or maybe it had drop to the floor, it feels very heavy and I got no word to describe it. After a while, I come to realise my tears keep dropping without my notice.

Yes, I am a Shawol, a fandom name for SHINee. I have been their fan since 2008 where KPOP is still new to the world, at least not really vulnerable to everyone like today. They was the second generation group of KPOP who have stay strong for 9 years now, next year will be their 10th anniversary. What make me even sadder is that I didn't get a chance to meet Jong Hyun when he was alive, and there is never a chance for me to do so. There is one time around 2013, they were going to come to Malaysia for a concert with other Kpop groups (although not their solo group), but end up the concert was cancel. And I keep thinking that I will get to watch their solo concert in Malaysia one day as the other groups like TVXQ, Super Junior and EXO had their concert tour here, so I guess I will have a chance to see them here. And time passed, and then in 2015, I went to Korea and got the chance to watch a concert in Korea and yes SHINee was one of the performer. But too bad that Jong Hyun did not show up that day due to his other schedule, so I miss a chance to see him. I just thought that maybe next time they will come to Malaysia and I will go to see them all in once. Sadly, my dream will never come true anymore. If I ever get the chance to go their concert, I will be singing his part with the members, because I know he will always be there, just in another world.

TBH it's been a while that I have been blogging, but I think I need to write this down, maybe it's a way to send him to the heaven. I hope my last letter get to send to him in his funeral in Korea tomorrow. I am really thankful to the Taiwan fan who is very kind who willing to help us print and deliver our last letter and word to him. Maybe god know he is too good to be here so he want to keep this angel beside him.

Jonghyun,
He will always be remembered as the talented guy.
He will always be remembered as the michievious guy who is very funny in the variety show.
He will always be remembered as the artist who dare to talk back to Cony and Dony in weekly idol.
He will always be remembered as the caring guy who waited his member birthday passed only leave.
He will always be remembered as the kind guy who waited his member finished their movie airing, concert and comeback only leave to avoid any negative news on their works.
He will always be remembered as the good guy who had donate his organ when he passed away and arrange well to leave his property for his beloved sister.
He will always be remembered as the hardworking guy who had finished his albums and mvs before he leave.
He will always be remembered as the warm guy who cheer up the fans when they are having a hard times.
He will always be remembered as the vocalist who can hit high notes.

He will always be remembered as the artist who recognise his fansite and profile photo, he even draw the fansite logo on his body in the concert and show it to them, apologize that he could not include them all as he did not have enough time as one of the logo need 20minutes to draw.

You know this is the last right.

He will always be remembered as the musician who compose music which heals people heart.

Our memories on him will be forever 27 years old.

Words can be bad and words can be good. It depends on how you use it, please do not use words to bash others, you may not know how hard they fight for life, despite of idol, artists or ordinary person. You should use your words to cheer up others instead, world can be a better place with positve vibes and hopes. It make people feel less miserable at least. If you do not like it, just ignore it, you may not know one's has gone through.

Maybe all he wanted is just that we notice his pain and tell him you have done well and spend time with him. Sorry we did not finding out that you are in so much pain and you had reveal your feelings through your lyrics. Sorry we did not notice the dog tattoo was a sign of depression. Sorry that you have struggle a lot but we still could not notice that.

He has the black dog tattoo which
significant he has depression.

I know you have been thinking a lot before doing this decision. I understand that and you are free now. Free from stress, depression, suffered. Be a happy angel.

I sincerely hope that you will be an ordinary person with full of happiness in your next life, maybe just someone who loves singing.

It's very tired right.

*all photos cr logo

I saw this beautiful title from a Korean news: A star that shined brightly on stage for 10 years, now a star of the skies. I hope you are one of the star in skies so that I can I looked into sky next time and you will be there.

You will be missed and remembered as the talented artist, the forever vocalist. 

I miss you already.

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